Milking Through the Burnout: When the Homestead Dream Feels Heavy

I know I'm blessed to have a small herd of Purebred Mini Jerseys. I'm not ungrateful at all. At times though, it wears me down. Summer is intense. Calves and chicks arriving while peas need shelled, and bowls of berries wait to be rinsed for the freezer, assuming someone found the time to harvest the crops after doing all the regular chores.

From Pastoral Fantasy to Daily Reality
When we began our homesteading journey in 2012, our children were wrapping up their homeschool high school education, and Lance was advancing in his military career. I found myself with ample time, and everything related to homesteading was fresh and thrilling. I had long fantasized about making homemade butter and seeing content animals grazing in our pasture. However, I was unprepared for the significant mental burden that comes with managing a living, breathing food system day in and day out.

Owning a milk cow is not merely about having a food source; it's a commitment to a lifestyle. I was aware of this. There are no lazy mornings during certain stages of lactation. Each day, the cow relies on you—whether you’re feeling unwell, exhausted, grieving, or simply overwhelmed. When you add homeschooling, gardening to nourish three generations, dealing with the loss of animals, equipment repairs, or compensating for an injured partner, the notion of a simple life quickly becomes complicated.

Perspective Learned in a Season of Struggle
In late August 2024, as my allergies and asthma flared up, leading to five trips to the ER or doctor within four months, I felt completely overwhelmed. Burnout set in during a time when I was already mentally and physically drained, anxious about disappointing others, and waiting for medical test results. Yet, amidst all this chaos, I discovered the importance of slowing down and reassessing my situation. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask my older children to take on more responsibilities, including milking. I’ve learned to seek help, recognize my limits, and communicate my needs. Skipping cheese-making when feeling overwhelmed is okay—it won’t bring the world to an end.​

Opening Up About the Struggles of Modern Homesteading
When I finally confided in my friends about the difficulties I was facing, I discovered that many had also felt inadequate and overwhelmed. Several friends and acquaintances have recently decided to sell all their dairy cattle. One mother shared that she switched to milking once-a-day early in her cow's lactation, while another stopped milking her cow at five months due to baseball practice. The demands of travel games made it challenging to manage everything. These discussions became lifelines, reminding me that the dream doesn’t have to end; it may simply require adjustment during different seasons of life.

​The Challenges of Homesteading
Modern homesteading is undeniably challenging. It has never been easy, and if you are currently struggling, feeling exhausted, or questioning your dream, know that you are neither alone nor failing. Take a moment to breathe and seek assistance. Simplify wherever possible. I persevered, holding onto hope that the next calf would rejuvenate my spirits. I can feel that I’m emerging from this period now, though it has been nearly a year. While life appears much the same, my perspective has shifted. I’m no longer pushing myself as hard, and my friendships have deepened thanks to the time invested.

Warmly,
​Milkmaid Lorinda